(brand) spanking new, spic-and-span
[adjective]
[spik-splin-ter-nieuw] 
When something is brand-new, in Dutch we say it is ‘gloednieuw’ or ‘splinternieuw’. The latter says: ‘as new as a splinter’, fresh splinters being indicative of a wooden object being brand-new (in the old days I guess). The ‘superlative’ of ‘splinternieuw’ is ‘spiksplinternieuw’; the word ‘spik’ is a corruption of the word ‘spijker’: nail. So it is as new as a fresh splinter and a nail straight from the forge 🙂
Read more about the etymology in Extra below.
Examples:
– “Als u zich vandaag nog registreert, maakt u kans op het winnen van een spiksplinternieuwe auto!”
(“If you register by today, you have a chance to of winning a spanking new car.”)
– “Goedemiddag, ik kom aangifte doen van diefstal van mijn fiets.” – “Dat is niet zo mooi meneer.” – “Nee, dat is zeker niet zo mooi, want hij was spiksplinternieuw!”
(“Good afternoon, I have come to report the theft of my bicycle.” – “That’s unfortunate sir.” – “That is very unfortunate indeed, because it was a brand-new bicycle!” Note that ‘dat is niet zo mooi’ is used colloquially.)
– “Hoe was je date met Sabina?” – “Heel geslaagd. En ze zag er fantastisch uit; ze droeg een spiksplinternieuwe jurk!”
(“How was your date with Sabina?” – “It went very well. She looked fantastic; she wore a brand spanking new dress.”)
– “Ik ben vanmiddag m’n spiksplinternieuwe handschoenen kwijtgeraakt; ik baal als een stekker.”
(“This afternoon I lost my brand-new gloves; I’m really pissed off about it.”)
– “Mijn spiksplinternieuwe iMac is nu al kapot, het ziet er leuk uit dat Applespul, maar de kwaliteit laat ernstig te wensen over.”
(“My spanking new iMac broke down already; Apple stuff looks great but the quality is mediocre.” Literally: ‘… but the quality seriously leaves to wish for.’)
Related words:
– Nieuw: new [adjective].
– Splinternieuw: brand-new [adjective].
– Gloednieuw: brand-new [adjective]. You may also encounter the colloquial ‘gloedjenieuw’.
Extra:
Regarding the use of ‘spik’, which is a corruption of ‘spijker’ (nail), German readers may recognize a similar origin in the adjective ‘nagelneu’ (as new as a nail) although we don’t have ‘spiknieuw’ or ‘spijkernieuw’ in Dutch. The ‘spic’ in English ‘spic-and-span’ has similar roots as ‘spijker’; compare English ‘spike’. The ‘span’ in its turn is derived from ‘span-new’ which has its origin in old Norwegian ‘spánnýr’. The Dutch word related to ‘span’ is ‘spaander’ which is basically a very big splinter (wood chip).
When something is very bad, and perhaps even to the point that it is embarrassing, you may bend your toes in response to what you witness. ‘Bending one’s toes’ in Dutch is ‘je tenen krommen’ and when something makes you bend your toes, we call it ‘tenenkrommend’ (‘toe bending’). It can be used both as an adjective and adverb. Obviously it has a negative connotation 🙂
The origin of this adjective goes back to the days when the type of headgear people were wearing (and how they were wearing it) could be indicative of their mood. Literally it meant: wearing the hat well. Note that the Dutch noun ‘muts’ no longer is a general word for headgear; it typically refers to the kind of hat that you can pull over your ears and is made of wool, or a wool like fabric, see DWOTD 
The noun ‘werk’ means ‘work’ in Dutch and it can be used for a (type of) job one has, but also for a job done, e.g. ‘goed werk!’ (good job!). When you deliver ‘broddelwerk’ you are doing a terrible job of poor quality. The related verb is ‘broddelen’ (to bungle / botch (up) (one’s work)’, however it is almost never used.
‘Leuk’ is the Dutch adjective for ‘nice’ or ‘pleasant’. It’s also the Dutch adjective for ‘funny, amusing, charming, attractive, pretty’ and even ‘jolly’, but we will ignore that for now 😉