that makes no sense at all [Dutch phrase of the week]

The informal "dat slaat nergens op" can be a bit stronger than "that makes no sense at all", and can convey the message that you think it is ridiculous or plain crazy.

The literal translation does not seem to make much sense: "That beats/hits on nowhere". In this context however, "slaan op" translates to "to refer to", where "nergens" translates to "nowhere". From "that refers to nowhere" it is a small step to "that makes no sense at all", well, at least it is for us 😉

To say it even stronger, "helemaal" can be added to the phrase: "Dat slaat helemaal nergens op!" And if you are looking for (implicit) confirmation, you can add "toch": "dat slaat toch helemaal nergens op!" 🙂

You will also hear the question: "Waar slaat dit op?" ("What is this about? / What is this supposed to be/do?")

Examples:
– "Meneer, u mag hier niet parkeren!" – "Belachelijk! Dat slaat helemaal nergens op!"
("Sir, you are not allowed to park here!" – "Ridiculous! That really makes no sense at all!")

– "Wat vond je van de uitleg van de professor?" – "Die sloeg helemaal nergens op!"
("What did you think of the professor’s explanation?" – "It really didn’t make any sense at all!")

– "Het slaat nergens op dat ik door die mierenneuker word beschuldigd van het gebruiken van schuttingtaal!"
("It’s ridicuous that I’m being accused of using foul language by that nitpicker!")

– "De prijs die je tegenwoordig moet betalen voor een enkeltje Den Haag – Amsterdam slaat helemaal nergens op!"
("The price one has to pay nowadays for a single ticket from The Hague to Amsterdam is ridiculous!" Note that "enkel" in Dutch can have two meanings: ‘single’, or ‘ankle’. It is common to use the diminutive "enkeltje" for a single train ticket. A return ticket is a "retour" or "retourtje".)

Related words:
– "Onzin": nonsense.
– "Belachelijk": ridiculous. Lit. "laughable".
– "Onterecht": unjust, wrongful.

constantly, all the time [Dutch phrase of the week]

Literally translated, a "lopende band" would be something like a "running belt". Actually, "lopende band" is the translation for "conveyor belt" (as part of an assembly line in a factory). The expression "aan de lopende band" is used to refer to the continuous or repetitive nature of a certain event or activity.
In the case of a continuous activity "aan de lopende band" is synonymous to "de hele tijd", which is the literal translation of "all the time", see the Examples.

Examples:
– "Tijdens de vergadering moest Frank aan de lopende band hoesten."
("During the meeting, Frank had to cough constantly.")

– "Het kan toch niet zo zijn dat jij me aan de lopende band beledigt, en dat ik mijn mond moet houden!"
("It can’t possibly be the case that you insult me all the time, and that I have to keep my mouth shut!")

– "Schat, je zit aan de lopende band in je neus te peuteren." – "Moet jij nodig zeggen!"
("Honey, you’re picking your nose all the time." – "Look who’s talking!" Note that the typical
Dutch construction for continuous activities is used here: [subject]  + [conjugation
of verbs suchs as "lopen" / "zitten" / "staan" / "hangen"]  + ["te"] +
[infinitive].)

– "Die man met dat blotebillengezicht zit de hele tijd naar me te gluren…wat een engerd!"
("That man with the pudding-face is peeping at me all the time…what a creep!" In Dutch, "scary" or "spooky" is translated with "eng".)

Related words:
– "Lopen": to walk, to run.
– "Band": band, belt, strip, tire.

at the very last moment, only just in time, a close call [Dutch phrase of the week]

A "nipper" does not exist, nor does "nippertje" have a meaning of its own. You’ll only hear and use it in this phrase. Another version is "op het laatste nippertje": at the very very last moment.

Examples:
– "Vanochtend heb ik op het nippertje de trein gehaald."
("This morning I only just managed to catch the train." Note that the Dutch say "de trein halen".)

– "De scholier stak zonder te kijken de spoorwegovergang over, en is op het nippertje aan de dood ontsnapt."
("The pupil/student crossed the railway/road crossing without looking, and escaped death by a hair’s breadth.")

– "Iedereen was ruimschoots op tijd, terwijl Frank weer eens op het laatste nippertje arriveerde."
("Everybody arrived well on time, while Frank once again arrived at the very very last moment.")

It’s easily done/fixed/accomplished, it won’t take long (to complete) [Dutch phrase of the week]

The
verb "piepen" is translated with "to squeak, peep, shriek, wheeze" or
verbs such as "to whine/moan". However in the phrase "het is zo
gepiept" it takes the meaning of "to complete/do/fix/…", and you will
only encounter it as such in this phrase.

Mind that whatever it is that has to be completed, must be a physical activity.

Examples:
– "Hoe lang gaat dit duren denk je?" – "O, maak je geen zorgen, het is zo gepiept!"
("How long do you think this wil take?" – "Oh, don’t worry about, it won’t take long!")

– "Kun je me helpen met het verplaatsen van de wasmachine? Ik zweer het je: het is zo gepiept!"
("Can
you help me move the washing machine? I
swear: it won’t take long!" Lit. "…with the moving of the washing machine? I swear it to you:…".)

– "Dat gaat ons toch nooit lukken, dan moeten we allemaal gaten gaan boren!" – "Nou en, het is zo gepiept, let maar op!"
("We will never be able to do that, we’d have to drill all these
holes!" – "So what, it’s easily done, just watch me!" Lit. "We will
never succeed in doing that…" – "Now and…, just pay attention!")

Look who’s talking! [Dutch phrase of the week]  

This phrase is always used to express irony. The literal translation – "Must you necessarily say" – does not make much sense, but something like "It is really necessary that you say that…NOT" would somewhat cover its meaning. Luckily, there’s a dedicated English phrase for it: "Look who’s talking".

The phrase can be used in every person, see the Examples.

Examples:
– "Jij bent echt druk!" – "Moet jij nodig zeggen! Ik probeer al weken een afspraak met je te maken!"
("You’re a really busy person!" – "Look who’s talking! I’ve been trying for weeks now, to make an appointment with you!")

– "Frank beweert dat jij je snor hebt gedrukt tijdens de vergadering." – "Moet hij nodig zeggen! Hij kwam tien minuten te laat!"
("Frank claims that you weaseled out during the meeting." – "Look who’s talking! He came in ten minutes late!")

– "Wordt het niet eens tijd dat je gaat stofzuigen?" – "Moet jij nodig zeggen, jij zou afwassen weet je nog?!"
("Isn’t it about time that you start vacuum-cleaning?" – "Look who’s talking, you were supposed to wash up / do the dishes, remember?!")

Related words:
– "Nodig": necessary, needful.
– "Zeggen": to say.

Related expressions:
– "Moet je horen wie het zegt!": this phrase can be used the same way as "moet jij nodig zeggen" but you don’t have to conjugate as you are not addressing somebody directly.
– "Het moet niet gekker worden!": This is ridiculous!